What Do You Do When a Family Member Commits a Terrible Crime?

面对家庭成员犯下重大罪行,你该如何自处?

The Opinions

2026-04-02

37 分钟
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Maintaining a relationship with a convicted family member can be complicated. The columnist M. Gessen would know. In a new podcast series from Serial called “The Idiot,” M. grapples with the fact that their first cousin committed a terrible crime. In 2024, a federal judge sentenced Allen to 10 years in prison for taking out a hit on his ex-wife, the mother of his children. Now, M. talks about their dilemma with their friend Harriet Clark, whose mother, Judy Clark, served 37 years in prison for driving the getaway car in a robbery that led to the deaths of three people. Harriet explains how the adults in her life gave her the opportunity to create and sustain a strong relationship with her mother, and why M. should do the same for Allen’s children. Thoughts? Email us at theopinions@nytimes.com. This episode of “The Opinions” was produced by Jillian Weinberger. It was edited by Kaari Pitkin. Mixing by Carole Sabouraud. Original music by Pat McCusker and Carole Sabouruad. Fact-checking by Mary Marge Locker and Kate Sinclair. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta and Kristina Samulewski. The deputy director of Opinion Shows is Alison Bruzek. The director of Opinion Shows is Annie-Rose Strasser. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • In theory, I knew that this kind of thing can happen in any family.

  • Upstanding citizens are always turning out to be secret criminals.

  • And I wouldn't even call my cousin Alan an upstanding citizen.

  • But it's one thing to know and another thing to understand.

  • Alan, murder me.

  • What the hell was Alan thinking?

  • From Serial Productions and The New York Times, I'm Em Gessen and this is The Idiot.

  • Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

  • This is The Opinions, a show that brings you a mix of voices from New York Times opinion.

  • You've heard the news.

  • Here's what to make of it.

  • I'm Em Gessen, an opinion columnist at the New York Times.

  • I'm also the host of a new show from the Times and Serial called The Idiot.

  • And if you haven't listened yet, this conversation will have some spoilers.

  • The Idiot is the story of a convicted felon from my own family.

  • In 2022, my first cousin, Alan, was arrested for taking out a hit on his ex-wife.

  • He is now serving a 10-year sentence in federal prison.

  • Alan has two children with his ex-wife, and he wants more than anything to connect with them.

  • When I was making the podcast, I wanted to understand how that could happen,

  • how children can build relationships with parents in the prison system.