A singer’s search for peace

一位歌者对宁静的寻觅

The Documentary Podcast

2026-08-07

26 分钟
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In Lithuania, singer Rūgilė Daujotaitė was becoming a familiar face on television. She was performing at major music events, competing for a place at Eurovision, and building a life that, from the outside, appeared successful. But privately, she says she was struggling. Raised in a family shaped by New Age spirituality and occult beliefs, Rūgilė grew up searching for God through a mixture of traditions. As an adult, she moved to Amsterdam to study jazz, became involved in shamanic practices and Santo Daime ceremonies, and began taking ayahuasca - a powerful psychedelic brew used in some religious rituals. Colm Flynn travels to Vilnius to meet Rūgilė in the home where she first encountered many of the ideas that shaped her early life. She reflects on leading retreats, introducing others to practices she has since rejected, and the moment she began reading the Bible and questioning the world she had embraced. This episode of The Documentary, comes to you from Heart and Soul, exploring personal approaches to spirituality from around the world.
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  • I was in that Eurovision song, I was worshipping the thunder god.

  • And I was dressed as a thunder goddess with white tunic and red cape.

  • From the outset, it looked like life was going great.

  • Beautiful looking, on television, very well known here in your home country of Lithuania.

  • I mean, you were winning in life.

  • Looked like that from outside, inside.

  • I felt tortured emotionally.

  • I felt kind of depression.