278. How Do You Mean? It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It

278. 您这是什么意思?不是您说了什么,而是您怎么说的。

Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

2026-04-06

25 分钟
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Whatever your message, the manner in which you deliver it is just as important. You found the right words. You picked the right time to say them. You even tailored them to your audience. Why did your message fall flat? “It's your tone,” says Jefferson Fisher. Fisher is a trial attorney, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and one of the most-followed experts in communication today. From handling high-stakes communication in the courtroom to navigating everyday conversations, he says successful messaging isn’t just about what you say, but how you say it. “It’s not your words, it’s your tone,” he says, “The words might be right, but the way you [say them] — that's what ends up controlling the day. Tone controls everything.” In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Fisher and host Matt Abrahams explore how to set the right tone in all kinds of communication. Whether you're navigating conflict, giving and receiving feedback, or just trying to connect, Fisher offers practical techniques for ensuring the manner of your communication matches what you mean. Episode Reference Links: Jefferson FisherJefferson’s Book: The Next Conversation WorkbookJefferson's Podcast: The Jefferson Fisher PodcastEp.228 Negotiate Your Way to Success: Empathy, Mirroring, and Labeling  Connect: Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters: (00:00) - Introduction (03:13) - Stop Winning Arguments (04:47) - Ask, Don’t Persuade (05:18) - Defuse Tension Fast (06:25) - Read the Room (08:21) - Observing vs. Absorbing (09:53) - Framing Conversations (12:06) - Fix Digital Communication (13:46) - Improve Your Tone (16:38) - Break People-Pleasing (18:03) - Setting Clear Boundaries (21:39) - The Final Three Questions (24:40) - Conclusion  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription. Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.
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  • Hi, Matt here.

  • I have a favor to ask.

  • You know, on Think Fast, Talk Smart, we spend a lot of time talking about feedback and how to improve our communication.

  • Well, now I'd like to get your feedback so we can improve our communication.

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  • and develop your communication skills.

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  • Go to faster smarter dot IO slash survey.

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  • Again, help us help you by going to faster smarter dot IO slash survey.

  • Thank you for listening.

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