Overcoming romantic obsession

战胜浪漫执念

Life Kit

2026-10-12

22 分钟
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When a crush turns into a harmful obsession, you might experience limerence, romantic infatuation characterized by extreme emotional highs and lows, intrusive thoughts and idealization. In this episode, we talk to neuroscientist Tom Bellamy, author of the book Smitten, about how limerence works in the brain, what you can do to stop it, and how to replace limerence with healthier interests. This episode was originally published Sept. 16, 2025. Follow us on Instagram: @nprlifekitSign up for our newsletter here.Have an episode idea or feedback you want to share? Email us at lifekit@npr.orgSupport public media with NPR+ and enjoy perks for over 25 podcasts like this one. This show’s perks include sponsor-free listening and convenient playlists of popular help topics like personal finance, getting healthy, and more. Learn more at plus.npr.org. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for sponsorship and to manage your podcast sponsorship preferences. NPR Privacy Policy
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  • Hey, it's Marielle.

  • I saw this video the other day of a little bird that's sitting on somebody's kitchen counter.

  • It must be a pet.

  • And the bird, it sees a potential mate on the floor.

  • So it jumps down and sidles up to the other bird, nuzzles it, tries to mount it.

  • Yes, that's the yin-yang twins playing in the background.

  • The iconic seduction song, Wait, the Whisper Song, came out in 2005. Anyway,

  • then you realize the other bird is not actually a bird.

  • It is a bird wind-up toy.

  • I feel like I've done this before in dating.

  • Set my sights on somebody juicy, slid into their view, did my little mating dance,

  • and then realized they were not a suitable companion.

  • And yet I couldn't stop thinking about them, even after I knew they were a wind-up toy.

  • I would say limerence is an altered mental state, fundamentally.

  • So it's a state that many of us go into in the early stages of love.

  • And it's kind of a profound romantic infatuation with another person.