Infidelity

不忠

This American Life

2026-04-20

59 分钟
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Stories of cheating, cheaters, and the cheated. Visit thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners to sign up for our premium subscription. Prologue: Ira talks with Jessica Pressler about a phenomenon she noticed in the wedding notices in The New York Times. Couples were cheerfully telling—as part of their "meet cute" stories—how their relationships began with one of them cheating on a spouse or long-time partner. (4 minutes)Act One: From England, Ruby Wright has a story of an affair where—even years after it ended—it wasn't much discussed. (14 minutes)Act Two: Ira reviews some infidelity stats from his mother's book on the subject, Not Just Friends. And author James Braly tells a story of temptation live onstage at The Moth. (15 minutes)Act Three: Dani Shapiro on the confusing mess things can be during an affair. The story is from her memoir, Slow Motion. (16 minutes)Act Four: Etgar Keret describes the moment in the immediate aftermath of an affair. Actor Matt Malloy reads. (4 minutes)Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org This American Life privacy policy. Learn more about sponsor message choices.
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  • It was a while ago, the spring of 2009, that a writer named Jessica Pressler noticed a small cultural shift

  • going on in the waiting pages of the New York Times, the section that the paper calls the Vals section.

  • The shift, it happened at a time when, I do n't know,

  • for whatever reason, there was a rush of news stories about famous and powerful people cheating on their partners.

  • South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford publicly confessed that his soulmate was a woman in Argentina who was not his wife.

  • Nevada Senator John Ensign admitted paying $96,000 in cash to his former mistress and her husband.

  • Reality TV stars John and Kate had just split after reports that he'd had an affair.

  • And so it was in the middle of all that Jessica Pressler noticed in the wedding pages of the New York Times

  • that there were couples getting married who cheerfully told the newspaper as part of their meet-cute story that the way

  • they got together was that one of them cheated on a spouse or a longtime partner.

  • I believe one of them says, the headline on it is something like, It took a while, but they finally got together.

  • And you're like, because he was having a three-year relationship with another person in the meantime.

  • Jessica Pressler wrote up her discovery on the New York Magazine blog, Daily Intel.

  • She noted that there was a kind of code language in all these wedding articles.

  • They always say, like, their road to finding each other was a bumpy road,

  • or they had a difficult time, many ups and downs.

  • They encountered some obstacles along the way, and it's like, no, those are people.

  • Those are, like, other, like, lives.

  • They're not speed bumps.

  • Take, for instance, the married woman who, according to a romantic write-up on the Vows page of the New York Times,