How To Destroy Awkward Small Talk & Build Real Connection | Vanessa Van Edwards

如何打破尴尬的闲聊并建立真实连接 | 瓦内萨·范·爱德华斯

The Daily Motivation

2026-10-07

7 分钟
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Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1987DM “Been busy?” is the worst question you can ask anyone. Vanessa Van Edwards says it sends the other person's brain hunting for negativity. They either list how exhausted they are or admit nothing is going on. No win. “What do you do?” comes second. Everyone has answered it so many times the brain stays on autopilot. Her fix when someone asks you: start with a clear label and who you do it for. Then share your why and toss it back. Or just be funny. “How are you?” “Seven out of 10.” Van Edwards calls herself a recovering awkward person. For years she walked into conversations trying to razzle dazzle. What changed everything: being easy to talk to beats being impressive. She splits people into entertainers and appreciators. Two appreciators together stall out, so learn to flex into the other role. Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

  • The single worst question in any conversation is been busy.

  • Really?

  • Been busy.

  • You are literally asking the other person's brain to search for negativity.

  • You're literally reminding them of all the reasons why they shouldn't be in conversation with you.

  • Because they're too busy.

  • If you ask the brain, been busy, the brain goes busy, busy, busy, busy, until it gets an example of being busy.

  • Yes, I am busy.

  • I'm exhausted.

  • I'm doing this and this and this.

  • Or if they're not busy, well, then they sound like a loser.

  • No, no, I'm not busy.

  • I'm just chilling out all day.

  • I got nothing going on in my life.