2015-10-14
5 分钟Today's good Life project riff is entitled don't define people by their best or worst moments.
So there's this odd thing that tends to exist in most humans.
We so often compare ourselves constantly to others.
And sad as it may be, the research is pretty clear.
We're happier when we're doing better than them.
It's the reason that in research, many people would rather make $75,000, but know that those around them are making 50 instead of making $100,000, but know that those around them are making 125.
So couple this with another odd quirk of humanity, and that is a pervasive desire to see others fail or fall from grace.
We don't want to own this.
We don't want to admit it.
We don't want to actually say, like, there's something in us which kind of is happy about it.
But the phenomenon is really well researched, and we see it all around us all day long, whether it's fueled by envy or comparison.
You've got a scenario where far too often we define others by their stupidest or their worst moments.
Someone could say a thousand things, right, valuable things, and do a thousand good deeds.
But the moment they do something wrong, something that we perceive as dumb or unfounded or do something, we would consider it stupid or hurtful, we define the totality of their existence on that one or a small number of negative behaviors.
Rather than saying, look, this is a good person who's made mistakes, we instead say they're a bad person or a moron or an idiot.
We like to call them names or worse.
We attribute some level of conniving or evil to them when the vast majority of their lives tells a different story, often a story of great benevolence and integrity.
So let me ask you something.
What if you were defined by your worst moment, your stupidest or snarkiest or most insulting quip, unless you're living a relatively monastic life, we've all said and done things we regret.
We've said something in the moment of heat or written something based more on emotion or guess than fact.