Love is Blind

爱情是盲目

Hidden Brain

社会科学

2021-02-13

6 分钟
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单集简介 ...

Why do some relationships last, while others falter? In this bonus episode, Shankar looks at one thing successful couples do well.
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单集文稿 ...

  • Hey there.

  • Shankar here.

  • I wanted to give you a heads up that I have a new book out.

  • It's called useful delusions and it looks at the paradox of self deception.

  • There are many ways deceiving ourselves can produce bad outcomes, but sometimes self deception can also produce good outcomes.

  • As I was thinking about this counterintuitive idea in my own life, I began to reflect on a personal story.

  • Its about my parents and I thought id share it with you as a Valentines Day bonus episode.

  • My parents were married for 46 years, right up until my dad died ten years ago.

  • He lived by a simple maxim on all matters big and small.

  • My mother was right.

  • When she embarked on difficult personal journeys, it was because they were necessary.

  • When she took daring professional leaps and suffered great setbacks, they were only temporary.

  • In every conflict and argument in which my mother found herself embroiled, my dad was on her side.

  • This wasn't a strategic decision he made to purchase domestic harmony.

  • He genuinely thought of her as the delphic oracle he was all in.

  • Regardless of whether such unswerving faith was good for my mother, I've come to realize it was very good for my father.

  • His delusional belief in her allowed him to lead a very happy married life.

  • If my mother were a psychopath, having such a loyal conspirator could have led to disaster.

  • But in the ordinary choices that families where to live, how to raise children, what to eat for dinner.

  • My father's simple faith in my mother's infallibility meant many important decisions got made quickly, easily and without recrimination.