296: How to Apologize with Harriet Lerner

296: 如何向哈丽特·勒纳道歉

The Couples Therapist Couch

2026-08-26

46 分钟
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This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Harriet Lerner about how to apologize. Harriet is one of the most respected voices in the psychology of women, and the "how-tos" of navigating the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships. She is the author of 12 books published in 35 languages. Hear why apologies are so important, the ways people ruin their apologies, what a good apology requires of us, the differences in how men & women apologize, and how to navigate a client who refuses to apologize.   To learn more about Harriet Lerner, visit: HarrietLerner.com Why Won't You Apologize? Book Why Won't He Apologize? | Harriet Lerner | TEDxKC   You can also listen to Harriet Lerner on Episode 27 of The Couples Therapist Couch
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  • When it comes to real apologies, the apologies that matter, we all have a problem with that.

  • Welcome to the Couples Therapist Couch, the podcast for couples therapists, marriage counselors,

  • and relationship coaches to explore the practice of couples therapy.

  • And now, your host, Shane Burkle.

  • Hey everybody, welcome back to the Couples Therapist Couch.

  • This is Shane Burkle and this is the podcast that's all about the practice of couples therapy.

  • Thank you so much for tuning in.

  • Extremely excited to share with you an interview that I did with Harriet Lerner,

  • who is a psychologist who's played a major role in our understanding of the psychology of women and families.

  • Her scholarly publications and best-selling books, starting with The Dance of Anger, have helped millions

  • of people to navigate the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

  • Now she's shifted her research attention to the bewildering dynamics of apologies and forgiveness.

  • In her latest book, Why Won't You Apologize?

  • , she explores the power of the heartfelt apology and the challenge of healing disconnections

  • when I'm sorry just isn't enough.

  • She also addresses the excruciating pain of the hurt party who has received

  • a bad apology or none at all and explains how our misguided notions of forgiveness may deepen.

  • The injury.

  • And that's what we talk about in the interview today, all about apologies and her new book.

  • So I definitely recommend going to get her book right away and I'll put that in the show notes.