What Happened When My Dad and I Came Out to Each Other

我爸爸和我坦白相告时发生了什么

Modern Love

2026-02-18

37 分钟
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Julia Stoller loved her dad. But she never wanted to be him. He was a rule follower, he was so serious, and he was so straight. Then, when Julia was in her 20s, she got a phone call that completely changed her idea of who her father was. And as he opened up to her, sharing secrets he had been holding onto for decades, she was finally able to open up to him, too. This week on “Modern Love,” Anna talks to Julia about what happened when she had to get to know a whole new version of her dad, and what she learned about herself in the process. You can read Julia’s original story in the Modern Love column. We Want to Hear From You Email us at modernlovepodcast@nytimes.com. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • From the New York Times, I'm Anna Martin.

  • This is Modern Love.

  • Growing up, like a lot of kids, Julia Stoller thought her dad was just kind of a square.

  • He was polite.

  • Always on time, very Midwestern, that sort of thing.

  • She loved him, but she didn't think they had much in common.

  • But after she grew up and went to college, her dad made an announcement that shocked their family.

  • And suddenly, Julia realized she didn't know her dad at all.

  • Today,

  • I talked to Julia about what it was like to build a relationship with her dad from scratch and what happened when they were finally honest with each other.

  • Julia Stoller, welcome to Modern Love.

  • So happy to be here.

  • Julia,