276: The Myth of Effortless Connection with Shane Birkel

276:与肖恩·伯克尔的无缝连接神话

The Couples Therapist Couch

2026-02-10

28 分钟
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单集简介 ...

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks the myth of effortless connection. Hear how to help couples who just don't feel connected anymore, how to get each person to speak through their feelings, what the healthiest relationships do best, how to slow things down with clients, and how to create a sense of safety in relationships.
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  • If you feel like it's a lot of work, that doesn't necessarily mean that there's a problem.

  • Hey everybody, welcome back to the couples therapist couch.

  • This is Shane Burkle and this is the podcast that's all about the practice of couples therapy.

  • Thank you so much for tuning in.

  • I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist and the goal of this podcast is to help you learn how to more effectively work with couples and possibly even learn how to have a better relationship.

  • The episode this week is brought to you by ALMA.

  • They make it easy to get credentialed with major insurance plans at enhanced reimbursement rates.

  • ALMA handles all of the paperwork and guarantees payment within two weeks.

  • Visit helloALMA.com or click on the link in the show notes to learn more.

  • Hey everyone, welcome back to the couple's therapist couch.

  • This is Shane Burkle and today I'm going to be talking about couples that just don't feel connected.

  • And this is a specific type of couple.

  • This is something that I've seen a lot sometimes They'll come in and they'll say we just feel like roommates or recently I heard I was talking to another therapist and in a consultation and they said they were working with a couple that felt

  • like they were living parallel lives and One of the things that is really important about working with these cases is really trying to separate each person's reality

  • because a lot of times the couple will come in and They'll Talk about we just don't feel connected when when people use we statements in that way It's really hard for therapists to know what to do.

  • So I never really take that at face value oftentimes.

  • I'll pretty quickly Try to encourage each person to say well,

  • what what makes you not feel connected in this relationship?

  • So I really want to get to the lived experience of each person

  • because a lot of times this is Using that kind of language using that kind of we language is actually Avoiding vulnerability on some level and I'm not saying people do it on purpose.