You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.
Hey, it's Marielle.
You know when you meet somebody and you're like, you.
You could be a great friend.
Y'all are just hitting it off.
The conversation flows.
They make you laugh.
You want to know more about them.
So you say, hey, we should get together sometime.
See, that was your first mistake.
Because...
The more specific you are,
the more likely it is that you're actually going to get together, you know,
pull out your calendar, pick a time, pick a thing to do together, and actually follow through.
This is Kat Velos, author of a book called We Should Get Together,
The Secret to Cultivating Better Friendships.
Kat works directly with people who are having a hard time making friends where they live,
and she talks to city leaders and urban planners about designing spaces for connection.
Another tip, she says, is that if you're actively seeking new friends,
consider what kind you're looking for.