Turn Fear of Being Alone Into Unshakable Confidence | Brené Brown

将孤独的恐惧转化为坚不可摧的自信 | 布伦·布朗

The Daily Motivation

2026-01-23

7 分钟
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Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1877 That moment when Lewis says he didn’t want to speak up when friends bullied other kids because he wanted to belong feels painfully familiar, like a memory your nervous system saved in HD. Brené meets him there and drops the gut-punch research: fitting in is a constant scan of the room, deciding who to become so you won’t be left out, and the price is betrayal. You can feel the tension in the paradox she names, wanting connection while quietly disappearing inside it, and the harsh truth that it’s not sustainable. The practical move is small but ruthless: catch yourself in the “Who do I need to be right now?” spiral and replace it with “Who am I, even if it’s awkward?” Choose one place this week to stop performing, even in a tiny way, like saying what you actually think or not laughing at the joke that makes someone smaller. Belonging everywhere starts when you can walk into any room and not abandon yourself just to be liked, because real freedom is being able to stand alone without feeling lonely. Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

  • When they would do things that I didn't really agree with or they would bully other kids or make fun of people,

  • it's like I didn't want to not say anything.

  • You know, I didn't want to stand against them because I wanted to belong.

  • So if I did stand up against them, then that means I was alone.

  • And that was my biggest fear.

  • was being alone.

  • Oh yeah because that's what that's what teams and groups deliver.

  • They deliver this thing that you're not alone.

  • The problem is there's just I was so shocked to learn in the research that the opposite of belonging is fitting in

  • because fitting in is assessing a group of people.

  • and thinking, who do I need to be?

  • What do I need to say?

  • What do I need to wear?

  • How do I need to act?

  • And changing who you are.

  • And true belonging never asks us to change who we are.

  • It demands that we be who we are.

  • Because if we fit in, because how we've changed ourselves, that's not belonging.

  • That's not belonging because you betrayed yourself for other people.