The Biggest Communication Mistakes Couples Make (Part 1: The Don’ts)

Is communication the biggest struggle in your relationship? You’re not alone. Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation Coaching In Part 1 of our 3-part Communication Series, relationship experts and hosts Tarah and EJ Kerwin break down why communication goes wrong so often—even when we love our partner and have the best intentions. This episode focuses on the “DON’Ts” of communication: the instinctive, automatic responses we fall into when we’re tired, defensive, triggered, or overwhelmed. These reactions may feel honest in the moment, but they often shut down connection and emotional safety. Through real-life examples, personal stories, and practical reframes, Tarah and EJ show how the same situations can feel completely different when handled with validation, active listening, and emotional awareness. In this episode, you’ll learn:Why emotional invalidation damages trust (even when you’re trying to help)How saying “I never said that” escalates conflict instead of resolving itWhy accusations and blame shut down vulnerabilityThe hidden danger of mind reading and unspoken expectationsWhy fights about chores are almost never about the choresHow just one partner responding differently can completely change the outcome of a conflictThis episode lays the foundation for healthier communication—not perfection. If you’ve ever thought, “We keep having the same fight over and over,” this series is for you. Coming next: Part 2: Validation & Active Listening (the skills that change everything)Part 3: Triggers, Repair Attempts & Slowing ReactivityResources Mentioned:Order Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonRelationship Renovation at Home Podcast Community & MembershipMonthly live Q&A with Tarah & EJDeeper video lessonsDaily relationship tipsNow only $25/month👉 Join Our Patreon Community Subscribe & Stay ConnectedIf this episode resonates with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who might need it. Small shifts in communication can lead to profound changes in your relationship. Take care of yourself. Take care of each other. 💛 Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands