The Myth of the Mini-Me

迷你我的神话

Good Inside with Dr. Becky

2025-05-20

30 分钟
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单集简介 ...

"My kid is nothing like me." It’s a thought many parents have—but rarely say out loud. We all carry quiet expectations that our kids will reflect us in some way: our values, our temperament, maybe even our path. So what happens when they don’t? Dr. Becky sits down with Dr. Andrew Solomon, author of Far from the Tree, to explore what it brings up for us when our kids are different from us—and how acceptance and curiosity can help us grow while deepening our connection with them. Today’s episode is also brought to you by Sittercity. We talk a lot about support at Good Inside—emotional support, community, not having to figure out parenting on your own. Sometimes, you also need logistical support. Like, someone to watch your kid so you can make that meeting, run those errands, or finally catch up with a friend. That’s where Sittercity can be a really helpful tool. Their platform gives you a trusted way to find sitters who are kind, experienced, and show up when you need them. You can read reviews from other parents, message sitters directly, and set up interviews—all in one spot. If you’ve been meaning to find a sitter but didn’t know where to begin, this is going to make it feel a whole lot easier. Go to Sittercity.com and use the code “goodinside" for 25% off the annual or quarterly premium subscription plans. Today’s episode is also brought to you by Great Wolf Lodge. As a mom of three kids, I’m always on the lookout for family adventures that offer something for everyone (including myself!). That’s why Great Wolf Lodge is high on our list of future destinations! They offer a world of fun, all under one roof, including water slides, a lazy river, a massive wave pool, arcade games, mini golf and nightly dance parties! With 23 locations all across North America, and more on the way, chances are there’s a Great Wolf Lodge just a short drive away from you. You can save up to 40% off on any stay at Great Wolf Lodge from now through August 31st when you book at participating lodges. Just visit GreatWolf.com and enter the promo code “GoodInside” – when you book.
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  • I have a really exciting guest for us today.

  • Andrew Solomon is here.

  • And this is profoundly exciting for me

  • because I don't think I've quoted someone so often in a long time,

  • so much so that someone on my team said, you quote Andrew Solomon a lot.

  • We should probably have him on the pod to talk about what you quote so often.

  • So this is going to be a really important conversation about what it's like to parent,

  • what it's like to have kids who are different from our unconscious often fantasies of who our kids will be and how we tolerate raising kids who might have different values,

  • might have different interests, might have even different identities than what we imagined.

  • We'll be back right after this.

  • Andrew, I am So excited to have you here because now in your presence,

  • I can read aloud something I have read to countless parents starting way before I had an Instagram.

  • This is something I would give so many parents my private practice and it's something I refer to often.

  • And then I was just thinking, wait, I should have the man, the myth, the legend here.

  • And so I'm just going to read some of this and then we'll jump in.

  • There is no such thing as reproduction.

  • When two people decide to have a baby, they engage in an act of production.

  • And the widespread use of the word reproduction for this activity with its implication that two people are berating themselves together is at best a euphemism to comfort prospective parents before they get in over their heads.

  • In the subconscious fantasies that make conception look so alluring,

  • it is often ourselves that we would like to see live forever,