Revisited: Having a baby with your best mate

重温:与挚友共育新生命

Today in Focus

2025-12-25

33 分钟
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Nicola Slawson on her decision to have a baby with her best friend Tom rather than a romantic partner. Help support our independent journalism at theguardian.com/infocus
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  • This is The Guardian.

  • Hi, it's Helen here.

  • Today in Focus is taking a little Christmas break so that we can recharge our batteries ready for 2026.

  • And while we're off, we're replaying a few of our favourite episodes of the year.

  • And today is one that I still think about a lot

  • because it really challenged my assumptions on family,

  • about friendship, about parenting and about platonic relationships.

  • and it also made me laugh a lot.

  • I hope you enjoy it too.

  • Today, what happens when you have a baby with your best mate instead of a romantic partner?

  • It's a sunny day in Shrewsbury.

  • and a very cheery little girl with rosy cheeks and just a few front teeth is keen to see who's at the door.

  • This is Nicholas Lawson, a journalist and writer and her very sociable 11-month-old daughter.

  • Nicola recently went back to work and Tom, the baby's dad, took over the shed parental leave.

  • The baby can already walk and loves rousing around the living room on her ladybird scooter,

  • carefully manoeuvred by Tom every time she gets into a tight spot.

  • It's the perfect picture of domestic life.

  • a mum, a dad and their longed for baby girl.

  • But here's the twist.

  • Nicola and Tom are not a couple.