Why Women Get Bored With Monogamy Faster Than Men | Esther Perel

为什么女性比男性更快地对一夫一妻制感到厌倦 | 埃丝特·佩雷尔

The Daily Motivation

2025-11-24

7 分钟
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单集简介 ...

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1851 "We want sex with one person in the long haul that is fun and connected and intimate and playful. And we live twice as long. Go figure." - Esther Perel For most of human history, sex was procreation and duty. Women's pleasure didn't matter. Marriage had nothing to do with desire. Then everything changed in just 60 years. Contraception freed women from the terror of pregnancy and death. The women's movement challenged ancient power structures. Suddenly we started marrying for butterflies and attraction, expecting those feelings to sustain us for decades. But here's what nobody prepared us for: research shows women get bored with monogamy much faster than men. Not because women want less sex, but because they want less of the boring sex that shows up in long-term relationships. The romance dies. The seduction disappears. Men think foreplay is five minutes before intercourse, but Esther explains that for women, foreplay actually starts at the end of the previous orgasm. It's the tease, the pacing, the way animals circle each other without overwhelming. This conversation strips away everything you thought you understood about desire in relationships. Esther walks through why sustaining passion with one person for 60 years is literally unprecedented in human history, and what actually kills desire in marriage. The plot disappears. The character gets stale. Couples stop seducing each other and wonder why the spark died. She reveals the essential ingredients that make eroticism possible, why women's desire needs romance and mystery to survive, and how most relationships accidentally destroy the very conditions that create turn-on. This isn't about trying harder or scheduling more date nights. It's about understanding that we're living through a grand experiment of humankind, asking for something no generation before us has successfully achieved, and most of us are doing it completely wrong.Retry Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

  • One of the fascinating things for me in looking at sexuality is that it's probably one of the dimensions of relationship that has changed the most in a very,

  • very short amount of time.

  • for most of history and instill the majority of the world.

  • Sex is for procreation.

  • Sex is a marital duty on the part of the woman.

  • Nobody cares particularly if she likes it and how she feels and if she wants it.

  • And men have the privilege to go and find sex elsewhere.

  • In a very short amount of time, we're talking 60 years, we have contraception,

  • which is the liberation of women for the first time to free sex from reproduction,

  • from mortality, from...

  • death in pregnancy and in childbirth, all of that.

  • And for the first time,

  • sexuality moves from just biology and a condition to a part of our identity and a lifestyle.

  • In 60 years.

  • In 60 years.

  • The women's movement, which goes after the abuses of power.

  • The gay movement, which introduces the concept of identity to sexuality.

  • The fact that sex is for connection and pleasure.

  • The fact that for the first time we have sex before marriage.