If You're Stressed About The Future, This Will Set You Free | Dr. Ellen Langer

如果你对未来感到焦虑,这将会让你解脱 | 艾伦·朗格尔博士

The Daily Motivation

2025-11-21

9 分钟
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Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1850 "Events don't cause stress. What causes stress are the views you take of the event." - Dr. Ellen Langer Picture this: A fire destroys 80% of everything you own. Your response? "It was already gone. What was the point in getting crazy over it?" That's Dr. Ellen Langer, a Harvard psychology professor whose work on mindfulness has shaped how we understand stress and human potential. When the insurance adjuster showed up after her house burned down, he told her it was the first time in 25 years someone's reaction was calmer than the actual damage warranted. Most people catastrophize before they even see the extent of the loss. Ellen did the opposite. She immediately saw those burnt possessions as artifacts of her past, things she might not even choose again if she were starting fresh today. Then something happened on Christmas Eve that she couldn't have predicted: the hotel staff where she was staying, from the parking attendants to the chambermaids, filled her room with gifts. Not management. Not the owner. The people you barely notice. For years, she couldn't tell that story without crying. What makes this conversation so powerful is watching someone live their philosophy in real time. Ellen doesn't just theorize about stress, she's walked through actual loss and come out believing that worrying is simply a waste of time. She breaks down why predictability is an illusion we cling to, why most of what we worry about never happens, and how stress relies on two false assumptions: that we know what will happen, and that when it does, it will be awful. The conversation moves from handling global crises to personal disasters, from the things that keep us up at night to the moments that restore our faith in humanity. You'll hear about the class she taught without any of her notes after they burned in the fire, how it became the best class she ever taught because everything had to be thought through fresh in that moment. This isn't about positive thinking or pretending bad things don't happen. This is about what becomes possible when you stop trying to control outcomes you can't predict anyway.Retry Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

  • Telling yourself that the world is falling apart, that we're on our way to a dictatorship,

  • whatever things that are going to keep you up at night is not serving any purpose.

  • So do something about it.

  • Whether that means finding places to donate money, to do some work,

  • to elect the officials that have the same views as you, and so on.

  • But if you're doing nothing but worrying, worrying is a waste of time.

  • I have a few one-liners about worrying.

  • The first one is, you should ask yourself,

  • which is not the case here, is it a tragedy or an inconvenience?

  • Now you're talking about potential tragedies,

  • but most of the things we worry about are just inconveniences.

  • And most of the things we worry about never happen.

  • And if you reflect on the last time you worried and how you dealt with and you saw it didn't even happen,

  • you'd be more persuaded of that.

  • The way to deal with stress, I think, is stress relies on two things.

  • It relies on an assumption that something is going to happen and that when it happens,

  • it's going to be awful.

  • Well, the first, you can predict.

  • And this is very hard for people to accept that predictability is an illusion.