You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.
The dread creeps up and you find your heart racing just thinking about going to this thing It's kind of like playing a video game on the hard setting where your mind It sees more threats in the environment But rather than dodging a bunch of fireballs or Pac-Man ghosts the imposing threat is failure or embarrassment Ali Mathew is a clinical psychologist and he says most of us have experienced this nervous energy during a social event.
An energy that can make us think we're mind readers.
Where you start to think you know how people are seeing you.
You start to believe that you know how people are thinking about you and they're judging you.
They don't think you're doing a good job.
Because when the stakes are high or the social terrain is unfamiliar, it's easy to spiral.
Where you're starting to imagine what's going to happen and you're imagining things are going to go badly.
All types of people feel anxious in social settings.
The shy guy in class who has to give a big presentation,
the person who ruminates about a completely inconsequential text message,
the one who panics when they have to send back a plate of food at a restaurant.
In those moments, a lot of us want to just crawl into a hole.
And you can't do that.
What you need to do is is rethink about social anxiety being more like this annoying friend.
It's a friend that cares about you, that loves you,
that also shows up at times where you don't want them to.
And they have your best interests at heart.
Even though it doesn't feel good,
social anxiety stripped down to its essence can be a reminder that we need other people in our lives and that we all want to belong.