Under One Roof

同舟共济

This American Life

2025-11-17

1 小时 6 分钟
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What’s great about living in a family is that everyone sees everything differently. Also, that’s what’s awful about living in a family. We go behind closed doors with two families.   Visit thisamericanlife.org/lifepartners to sign up for our premium subscription. Prologue: When Heather Gay started taking steps away from Mormonism, she thought it was her secret. That her daughters had no idea. Until she talked to them about their mismatched memories. (17 minutes)Act One: In every house, behind every closed door, a private drama is unfolding. In the Rivera house, the drama comes in the form of a question: should they stay or should they go? This question winds its way around the house until someone finally answers it. (44 minutes)Transcripts are available at thisamericanlife.org This American Life privacy policy. Learn more about sponsor message choices.
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  • Hi everybody, Ira here.

  • My voice is weird today.

  • I feel fine Heather loved being Mormon so she and her husband split up After that she says people in the church treated her and her kids differently She realized she would never have the perfect Mormon family She was still a believer But she started secretly doing things the members of the church aren't supposed to do She's up with men.

  • She wasn't married to she drank but on the surface She kept up appearances,

  • lived a double life for years before she quit the church.

  • A double life with occasional moments where she thought she might get found out.

  • You know, as a Mormon person,

  • you're not supposed to drink coffee and that seems fairly innocuous, fairly simple,

  • but I was slipping and I was drinking coffee and I had gotten myself a coffee before I picked up my kids from school and they were young enough that they wouldn't understand or get it.

  • And oh my gosh, yeah, and my friend saw me and like waved and started to walk over to the car.

  • Saw you come out of a coffee shop?

  • Nope, she just saw me in the car pool line standing there,

  • but I had a hot coffee in my car and it was fall and that meant like if I unrolled the window,

  • the smell of coffee was gonna waft out right in smacker in the face.

  • And so I started to panic and I unrolled the window and I can remember like the panic.

  • and you just learn to lie so easily and so quickly.

  • And I think I said, oh, I'm not drinking it.

  • I just love the smell and fall.

  • Don't worry.

  • Don't worry.