How To Heal from Trauma and Embrace Healthy Connections | Sheleana Aiyana

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• 00:00

  Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

• 00:11

  Initially, when I was really young, the father wound was quite deep.

• 00:15

  So I always carried this feeling of not being good enough.

• 00:19

  So I created a lot of separateness between me and other people.

• 00:23

  You know, we grew up very poor, had no money.

• 00:25

  I'm a very small.

• 00:26

  I'm always the smallest person in every room.

• 00:29

  And I didn't have a father.

• 00:31

  There were so many things that were different about me.

• 00:33

  And so I didn't feel like I fit in.

• 00:36

  And so I felt quite insecure about whether or not I belonged anywhere.

• 00:40

  And over time, that turned into the defensive survivor mask,

• 00:45

  that ultra-independent mask, you know, that many of us end up putting on.

• 00:49

  And my learning happened through really painful, unsafe relationships.

• 00:55

  Really?

• 00:56

  Yeah.

• 00:56

  Well, I was really looking for someone to affirm me from a very young age.

• 01:01

  And so all of my relationships up until my early 20s were very abusive, were really unsafe.

• 01:07

  And there's one particular relationship that I was lucky to have survived.

• 01:11

  Wow.

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