You're listening to LifeKit from NPR.
Hey, it's Marielle.
When it comes to romantic relationships, we tend to place a lot of emphasis on falling in love,
but we overlook what it takes to stay there.
Sure, it's lovely to watch Cinderella and Prince charming ride off into the sunset,
but then after the honeymoon,
Cinderella keeps leaving those glass slippers hanging around where anybody can trip over them.
And the prince doesn't seem so charming when he can't seem to show up on time.
Rupture, conflict, it's going to happen in relationships no matter what.
We cannot avoid it.
Bea Voce is a couples counselor based in Austin, Texas.
She finds that a lot of couples need help with what comes after the fight, the repair.
And I think we're really missing it.
I think this is actually the thing that helps us grow up together.
Repair to me is the single most important ingredient in what actually develops into healthy,
long-term, secure functioning relationships.
Repair in relationships is the process of mending a tear after a conflict in a way that supports whoever was hurt and ultimately brings y'all back together.
Repair might look like physical touch and that's all you need.
For me, Repair, I might actually need redemption,
I might need you to own a piece of what happened and then I might really need to see behavior change.