The 4 Needs Every Child Has (That Modern Society Completely Ignores) | Gabor Maté

每个孩子都有的四种需求(现代社会完全忽视的)| 加博尔·马泰

The Daily Motivation

2025-11-01

6 分钟
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单集简介 ...

Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy! Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1319 "As a child, I don't have to absorb the stress of my parents. I don't have to take care of the needs of my alcoholic father." - Gabor Maté Gabor Maté sat across from Lewis and said something most parenting experts won't admit: he hurt his own children. Not through malice or neglect, but through something more insidious—unhealed wounds he didn't even know he carried. He reveals how your stress as a partner affects your child before they're even born, how children absorb their parents' unresolved pain like emotional sponges, and why so many well-intentioned parents end up repeating the very patterns they swore they'd never inflict. But here's what makes this conversation essential: Maté doesn't just diagnose the problem. He breaks down the four irreducible needs every child must have—needs that indigenous societies naturally provided for millennia, but that our modern world systematically denies. This isn't about perfect parenting or having all the answers before your kid arrives. It's about understanding that the work of raising healthy children starts with facing your own shadows first. Maté explains why free play matters more for brain development than any educational program, why children need to rest from the burden of managing adult emotions, and what happens when we give toddlers screens instead of space to be bored, curious, and wildly creative. Whether you're expecting your first child, struggling with teenagers, or trying to make sense of your own upbringing, this conversation illuminates why so many of us feel broken—and what it actually takes to stop that cycle. Sign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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  • Hi, my name is Lewis Howes and welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

  • I mentioned the work of Daniel Siegel, Daniel Siegel is a psychiatrist here in LA.

  • He's written a book called Parenting from the Inside Out.

  • And it's about how parenting brings out your own stuff.

  • So that...

  • Deal with your own stuff first and and and continue to deal with it

  • as you have children because you I guarantee you your kids are gonna trigger you,

  • you know, and and I didn't realize that as a parent so I Visited my own traumas into my kids.

  • Wow Because I wasn't working on myself at that time, you know, so do your own work.

  • Yes, that's the first thing do your work.

  • Yeah When you're pregnant or when your partner's pregnant, do you work already?

  • Because already the stresses of the husband during the pregnancy will affect that infant in the womb.

  • The husband stresses will also affect that.

  • Yeah, because the mom takes on the stresses of the partner.

  • Right.

  • So if you're stressing the mother, you're stressing the child.

  • Exactly.

  • Wow.

  • Okay.

  • So work on yourself.