The human stain remover: what Britain’s greatest extreme cleaner learned from 25 years on the job

人类污渍清除者:英国最伟大的极限清洁工从25年职业生涯中学到的经验

The Audio Long Read

2025-10-31

30 分钟
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From murder scenes to whale blubber, Ben Giles has seen it – and cleaned it – all. In their stickiest hours, people rely on him to restore order By Tom Lamont. Read by Elis James. Help support our independent journalism at theguardian.com/longreadpod
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  • This is The Guardian.

  • Before we begin, this article contains some strong language.

  • The Human Stain Remover.

  • What Britain's greatest extreme cleaner learned from 25 years on the job by Tom Lamont.

  • Read by Ellis James.

  • When the entrance to a theatre in London's West End was discovered to be smeared with blood and feces one day in March,

  • a distress call went out to the headquarters of Ben Giles.

  • a 49-year-old veteran of the Extreme Clean, who is based in Cardigan in Wales.

  • Decades earlier, as a young no-nothing hired by police to clean vehicles,

  • Giles laboured for hours to remove fingerprint dust from the interior of a stolen car.

  • Work that now, with the experience of innumerable litter-dashed liquid sodden,

  • gun-robed scenes, would take him about 30 minutes.

  • Job by job, he figured out when to scrape or sand, soak or fog, preserve or dispose.

  • Boilers suited and plastic booted,

  • Giles learnt how to eliminate most evidence of spillages, collisions, protests, hemorrhages,

  • severings, explosions, fires and floods,

  • becoming a self-taught stained savant, a walking database of remedies.

  • When you've lifted a layered lasagna of toilet paper and semen from the floor of a submarine yard in Barrow in Furnace,

  • there's not much left in the world that can scare you.

  • What exactly was the problem in the West End?