Most Replayed Moment: Why Does Commitment Feel So Scary? How to Build a Strong, Lasting Relationship

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• 00:03

  Thinking about the history of relationships,

• 00:05

  I often wonder how many of the rules of relationships that we've been handed by society are now invalid or maybe were never valid.

• 00:13

  So, you know,

• 00:14

  we have these sort of constructs of like marriage and monogamy and even like heterosexuality,

• 00:20

  all these things that have been passed to us through religion and through history.

• 00:24

  I was looking at some stats about marriage and it says that in 2019 marriage rates for opposite sex couples fell to their lowest on record

• 00:31

  since 1862.

• 00:33

  That's in the UK.

• 00:34

  And in the US, marriage rates have been declining since the early 1970s.

• 00:39

  I'm not married, but I spend a lot of time thinking about whether I should be or not.

• 00:44

  I actually had a conversation recently with my partner where I said, do you want to get married?

• 00:48

  And it was abundantly clear that she does want to get married.

• 00:51

  But then I asked why, and really, it seems like it was really just more for the wedding than...

• 00:57

  Than for some kind of legal contract that we signed with the government So I'm I'm I'm really wondering based on everything we know about history and the trade-offs of marriage Should I be getting married?

• 01:12

  Yes,

• 01:12

  because your partner wants to But here are so I think the institution of marriage What you're going to see this is my my prediction is is that

• 01:26

  because nuclear families.

• 01:30

  What do you mean by nuclear family?

• 01:32

  So having, well, it's interesting, there's different perspectives now on nuclear family,

• 01:36

  but I look at it as you have two partners and children, and that creates the nuclear family.

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