Hey there, welcome to Radio Headspace, it's Dora.
So after a relationship ends, there's a specific kind of grief that doesn't get talked about enough.
I remember after one breakup, sitting alone in my apartment, scrolling through old photos.
And not because I missed him, though I did, but because I missed me.
The version of myself in those photos who laugh with their whole body,
who felt spontaneous, light, and a little fearless.
And in that moment, I realized the ache I was feeling wasn't only about losing someone I love.
It was about losing sight of the version of myself I loved when I was with them.
Our relationships don't just connect us to other people.
They connect us to parts of ourselves.
And when they end, it's not just the bond that breaks, it's the mirror.
The one that reflected back a version of us we loved, or were just getting to know.
And we grieve that too.
The identity that was shaped, held, and reflected in that relationship.
But here's something I'm coming to understand.
That version of you didn't disappear with the person, they're still within you.
Waiting to be remembered, reclaimed, or maybe reimagined.
I remember a relationship that brought out a very playful, carefree side of me.
We'd take long drives with the window down, make up songs in the car, laugh until our stomachs hurt.
I felt spontaneous and light.