Essentials: How Humans Select & Keep Romantic Partners in the Short & Long Term | Dr. David Buss

《爱情伴侣的选择与维系:短期与长期的人类行为》| 大卫·巴斯博士

Huberman Lab

2025-10-02

35 分钟
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In this Huberman Lab Essentials episode, my guest is Dr. David Buss, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and a pioneer in the field of evolutionary psychology. We explore the science behind human mate selection in both short- and long-term relationships. We discuss universal traits valued in long-term partners along with key differences between women and men in what they prioritize when selecting a mate. We also discuss the darker aspects of mating behavior, such as deception, the evolutionary function of jealousy and the motivations behind stalking. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AGZ by AG1: https://drinkagz.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman Timestamps (0:00) David Buss (0:21) Mate Selection, Preferences & Competition (3:26) Desirable Qualities of Men & Women, Universal Traits for Long-Term Mates (4:38) Women’s Preferences; Men’s Preferences; Age Differences (8:58) Sponsor: LMNT (10:32) Mate Deception & Online Dating, Tool: Travel, Stress & Emotional Stability (13:41) Short- vs Long-Term Mates, Men vs Women Preferences (15:58) Sponsor: AGZ by AG1 (17:27) Jealousy, Mate Value Discrepancy, Vigilance to Violence (20:58) The Dark Triad, Sexual Harassment & Coercion (22:18) Stalking, Motivations & Outcomes (24:57) Sponsor: Function (26:38) Childhood Attachment Styles & Relationship Stability (27:43) Self-Assessment for Mate Value, Self-Esteem (31:20) Evolutionary Psychology & Neuroscience (32:05) David Buss’ Books; Acknowledgements Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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  • Welcome to Huberman Lab Essentials,

  • where we revisit past episodes for the most potent and actionable science-based tools for mental health,

  • physical health and performance.

  • I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine.

  • And now my conversation with Dr. David Busse.

  • David, delighted to be here.

  • Excited to ask you a number of questions about these super interesting topics about how people select mates just to start off,

  • perhaps you could just orient us a little bit about mate choice.

  • You know, some of the primary criteria that studies show men and women use in order to select mates,

  • transient mates, as well as lifetime mates.

  • Right.

  • Well, that's a critical distinction because what people look for in a long-term committed mate ship,

  • like a marriage partner or a long-term romantic relationship,

  • is different from what people look for in a hookup or casual sex.

  • So that's actually critical.

  • I wonder

  • if we could maybe just back up a second and just talk a little bit about the theoretical framework for understanding mate choice.

  • It basically stems from Darwin's theory of sexual selection.

  • Darwin noticed that there were phenomena that couldn't be explained by this so-called survival selection.

  • So he came up with the theory of sexual selection,