Anxiety and Control: Why Micromanaging Doesn’t Work (and What Does)

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• 00:10

  Hey friends, it's Rosie here.

• 00:14

  Welcome to Radio Headspace.

• 00:17

  So today, I want to talk about one of anxiety's favorite disguises, control.

• 00:23

  Now I'm not talking healthy boundaries.

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  I'm not talking structure.

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  I'm talking about that deep, gripping belief that if you just stay on top of everything,

• 00:34

  every email, every conversation, every possible outcome, you'll finally feel calm.

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  A few months ago, I was preparing for a big workshop, something I'd done many times before.

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  But this time, I found myself obsessing over every little detail,

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  the time, the slides, the lighting,

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  The exact phrasing of my opening sentence,

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  and I remember Tori gently saying, Babe, you've done this before.

• 01:04

  Why are you spiraling?

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  And without missing a beat, I said, Because if I control every detail, nothing will go wrong.

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  And even as the words came out, I heard the lie.

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  Because the truth is, something can always go wrong.

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  And control is never what actually makes us safe.

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  It just gives us the illusion of it.

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  So I used to live inside that illusion,

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  especially in my early 20s when life felt wildly unpredictable.

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