Hi, welcome back to Radio Headspace.
It's Dora.
Not long ago, I was in a group meditation and found myself completely distracted.
But not by my phone or to-do list.
I was stuck in a mental loop.
replaying a conversation where I felt deeply dismissed.
It was one of those moments where someone said something small, but it hit a nerve.
I kept rehashing it in my mind, what I should have said,
what they should have said, how I could prove a point next time.
And there I was, sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, trying to find peace while fuming in silence.
This is what ill will looks like in meditation.
resentment, judgment, irritation.
It's the voice that says they were wrong or this shouldn't be happening.
It can be directed outward towards others or inward towards ourselves.
Either way, it clouds our experience, narrows our hearts, and tightens our minds.
But ill-will isn't the enemy.
Like all the hindrances, it shows up as a signpost.
It lets us know, hey, something here hurts.
And with mindfulness, we can meet that hurt not with more resistance,
but with a greater sense of understanding.