Mean Girls, Friendship Red Flags & Letting Go of Toxic Friends with Christie Ferrari

This episode is brought to you by CLEARSTEM - my favorite skincare brand that fights acne and aging at the same time, with zero pore-clogging ingredients, ever. Get 15% off at clearstem.com/valeria with code VALERIA. This episode is also brought to you by Vuori: Versatile athletic and performance clothing. Head to https://vuori.com/notalone for 20% off your first purchase, plus free shipping on US orders over $75. In this week’s episode of Not Alone, Valeria sits down with clinical psychologist and friendship expert Christie Ferrari to unpack the complicated world of adult friendships. They explore why friends can feel so different after childhood, and why we sometimes fight to keep certain people in our lives while letting go of others. Christie introduces the concept of growth flags vs. red flags and helps us identify what healthy, evolving friendships look like versus the ones that may be holding us back. Together, Valeria and Christie dive into questions we all face: What kind of friend am I? Am I a fringe friend? How do I deal with “mean girls” even as an adult? From cultural differences in how friendships form, to tips for approaching conflict, to understanding when it’s time to quietly distance yourself, this conversation offers both validation and practical tools for navigating relationships. If you’ve ever questioned your place in a friend group or wondered how to deepen your connections, this episode is a must-listen. Follow Christie on Social Media Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christie_ferrari/?hl=en  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christieferrari?lang=en  Website: https://www.christieferrari.com/ Subscribe to Assertive You: https://www.christieferrari.com/assertive-you Book a session with Christie: https://www.christieferrari.com/services   Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/2205029 Follow me: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky/  What we talked about:  0:38 - Valeria sets up the episode about friendships 3:52 - Start of the conversation 4:01 - Introducing Christie Ferrari 6:33 - Why adult friendships seem so different 8:28 - Why we work for friendships & why we let them go 9:48 - Growth flags vs red flags 12:38 - Understanding what kind of friend you are 15:12 - Clearstem Ad 16:35 - Vuori Ad 17:57 - Christie’s draw to studying friendships 18:49 - The importance of being assertive 20:28 - What is a fringe friend? 23:18 - Helping a fringe friend  25:35 - Tips to find good friends 27:42 - Christie’s story on being a fringe friend 28:17 - Dealing with Mean Girls 29:29 - Why Mean Girls exist in adulthood 31:03 - Cultural friendship differences 32:05 - How Mean Girls lose power 34:10 - Approaching a friend with an issue 36:36 - When to let a friendship go 37:25 - Quiet distancing 40:14 - Mourning friendships 41:07 - Having more than one “best friend” 43:56 - Trying a friendship reset 44:48 - What healthy friendships look like 45:34 - Men’s reactions to female friendships 47:46 - Why friendships are easier in your 20s 48:35 - Underrated green flags 49:01 - Rapid Fire Questions 51:19 - Christie’s Reading Rec    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices