Where Did All My Male Friendships Go?

我的男性友谊都去哪儿了?

Modern Love

2025-08-13

1 小时 3 分钟
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单集简介 ...

Sam Graham-Felsen never imagined being lonely. Throughout his childhood and as a young man his life revolved around his friends. But when Sam got married and then had kids, going out with his friends almost felt like a luxury. After years of focusing on everything in his life except friendship, Sam began to realize he was missing something essential, and he decided to get his friends back. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Mr. Graham-Felsen describes how he went from being a boy with a wealth of deep friendships to finding himself feeling lonely as an adult, and what he did to bring friendship back into his life. Read his essay “Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?” in The New York Times Magazine. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story. Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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单集文稿 ...

  • From "The New York Times," I'm Anna Martin.

  • This is "Modern Love."

  • This week, I'm talking to the writer Sam Graham-Felsen.

  • He just wrote a piece for "The New York Times" Magazine called,

  • "Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?"

  • It wasn't like one day I woke up and was like, oh my God, I'm lonely.

  • But it was kind of like that.

  • But I always thought like, oh, well, that's something that applies to other guys.

  • Because I have a million friends.

  • I can't imagine ever feeling lonely.

  • And then, : sometime in my 30s, I'm like, wait a minute.

  • I think I'm actually feeling lonely.

  • My wife is a wonderful person, the best listener ever.

  • That's why I fell in love with her in the first place.

  • But at a certain point, she's basically like, dude, just go hang out with your friends.

  • Just call them and hang out with them.

  • I'm like, you're right, you're right.

  • Of course, then I didn't call them and hang out with them.

  • And I did every single thing except for hang out with my friends.