How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways. We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons. So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you. We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Chapters: 0:00 Introduction 10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness 11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia 15:11 Epicureanism 23:20 Eastern Perspectives 27:15 Modern Happiness Research 29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West 40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness 46:44 Hedonic Adaptation 59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy 1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol 1:07:23 Sex 1:15:09 Money 1:23:10 Fame and Status 1:37:26 Geography and Environment 1:39:51 Love and Relationships 1:41:19 Friendships 1:44:04 Having Children 1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self 1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness 1:53:35 Genetics 1:59:50 Circumstances 2:02:16 Intentional Actions 2:06:13 Relationships 2:10:51 Gratitude 2:13:13 Altruism 2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff 2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness 2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness 2:29:05 Social Comparison 2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers 2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan 2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths 3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness 3:16:22 Lessons Learned