‘Do you have a family?’: midlife with no kids, ageing parents – and no crisis

“你有家庭吗?”:无孩的中年生活,年迈的父母——却无危机

The Audio Long Read

2025-07-07

30 分钟
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In my 40s, I found myself with a life that didn’t look like it was ‘supposed’ to. What was I doing? On trips to South Korea with my mother, an answer began to emerge By E Tammy Kim. Read by Jennifer J Kim. Help support our independent journalism at theguardian.com/longreadpod
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  • Do you have a family?

  • Midlife with no kids, aging parents.

  • and no crisis.

  • By E. Tammy Kim.

  • Read by Jennifer J. Kim.

  • A few years ago,

  • my mom's brother in South Korea announced that he would be getting rid of their parents' graves.

  • My grandparents had been buried separately, and this uncle and his wife were their keepers.

  • They made several annual visits to the burial mounds.

  • endless gridlock, and prepared Buddhist ceremonies at home, endless cooking and cleaning.

  • Now that they were in their mid-60s and their grown children were unlikely to carry on any of these rituals,

  • they wanted out.

  • They set a date to exhume my grandparents' bodies, cremate their remains, and say goodbye again.

  • My mom wasn't happy about this.

  • but she had no real say.

  • She'd surrender her rights when she moved to the U.S.