How to Think Like a Child (with David Yeager)

如何像孩子一样思考(与大卫·耶格尔)

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

2025-05-26

35 分钟
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Why do kids do disruptive, annoying or maddening things? Usually when children behave badly, the first thing adults do is yell at them, tell them they're bad and dole out punishments. Developmental psychologist David Yeager says that's the wrong approach. Instead parents need work out why their child made bad decisions in the first place.    David is the author of the book 10 to 25  and argues that we should work out what's at the root of bad behaviour in young people. Maybe they want to gain status with their peers, or crave more outlets to be social. Once adults work out these motivations, they can encourage their kids to find better ways to reach their goals without breaking the rules.    This series on parenting coincides with Dr Laurie's new free online class, The Science of Wellbeing for Parents which is available now at Coursera.org. You can sign up at drlauriesantos.com/parents. Get ad-free episodes to The Happiness Lab by subscribing to Pushkin+ on Apple Podcasts or Pushkin.fm. Pushkin+ subscribers can access ad-free episodes, full audiobooks, exclusive binges, and bonus content for all Pushkin shows.  Subscribe on Apple: apple.co/pushkinSubscribe on Pushkin: pushkin.fm/plus See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • you're listening to an iHeart podcast.

  • Those authority figures, often your very own parents,

  • who insist that just because they've been around longer, they know what's best for you.

  • It can feel maddening.

  • You swear that when you have kids, things will be different.

  • You will understand.

  • And then, in what seems like an instant, you're the grown-up.

  • You've got your own kids.

  • It's your turn to be in charge.

  • And somehow, along the way, you've forgotten that promise that you made to yourself.

  • You find yourself caught up in that same intergenerational tension that you once swore to avoid.

  • In this episode in our series on happier parenting,

  • I'm talking with someone who's trying to break that cycle by changing the way adults and kids communicate.

  • Hi, I'm David Yeager.

  • I'm a developmental psychologist and the author of the book 10 to 25.

  • David's book explores the science of how to motivate young people effectively.

  • And his effective strategy begins with understanding the kids in our life, which admittedly is hard,

  • not only because we've forgotten what it's like to be a child,

  • but also because it can feel like kids today are speaking an entirely different language.

  • We have four kids and two teenagers and, you know,