Hi everyone, it's Sam here.
Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Thursday.
Recently I was thinking back to a story I heard during a training.
I'll never forget hearing this story about how the Babemba tribe in South Africa addresses failures within their community.
When a person commits an unjust act,
all of the members of the tribe gather to recall all of the positive traits of the person
as they spend days reminding them of their innate goodness.
Wouldn't it be great if we could grant ourselves that same kind of compassion when we feel
like we've fallen short?
It's human nature to remain vigilant about our shortcomings
because it ties directly back to survival and our brain's negativity bias.
And this is especially true with social shortcomings.
The anxiety and awkwardness we may feel in social situations becomes a trait we focus on
because we know that social ties lead to connections,
job opportunities, and bonds that bring us joy and support in times of need.
The stakes are really high.
so it's natural to fixate on our relationships with others.
The issue is that our brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagined threats,
and it reacts with a surge in stress hormones that can narrow our focus on what could go wrong instead of what can and often does go right.
We also inherit this tendency to be self-critical from our upbringing.