It's Tuesday, January 21st.
I'm Jane Coastin, and this is what a Day.
The show that's very interested in obtaining Melania Trump's inauguration hat.
It appears to create a powerful force field that keeps Donald Trump at arm's length.
Where can I get one?
On today's show, President Biden says peace out, but not before signing a bunch of preemptive pardons for Trump's political enemies.
And Vivek Ramaswamy flames out at Doge to maybe run for governor of Ohio.
Oh, right.
And we have a new president who's also an old president, both in the literal meaning of the word old and in the way that this is unfortunately not the country's first rodeo with this guy.
The golden age of America begins right now.
From this day forward, our country will flourish and be respected again all over the world.
He doesn't sound very excited about it.
Donald Trump delivered his inaugural address at the Capitol Rotunda and was sworn in as the 47th President of the United States.
At 78, he is the oldest man to be sworn in as president in US History.
His inauguration speech wasn't quite the American carnage of his first address eight years ago, but he did spend a lot of time talking about how everything sucked before Monday because previous administrations had run the country into the ground.
You know, minus the four years he was running the country.
My recent election is a mandate to completely and totally reverse a horrible betrayal and all of these many betrayals that have taken place and to give the people back their faith, their wealth, their democracy, and indeed, their freedom.
From this moment on, America's decline is over.
That's right.
As Trump would have us all believe, everything magically changed at noon Eastern time and sunlight poured over the entire world or something.