Speaking Up: Finding the Courage to Express Your Needs

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• 00:13

  Hi everyone, it's Rosie.

• 00:15

  Welcome to Radio Headspace and to Monday.

• 00:19

  So my fiancé Tori and I were sitting at our local coffee shop when a couple next to us began getting a little loud.

• 00:27

  I felt what I call inward, meaning just wanting a sense of calm and space to be introspective.

• 00:35

  And the noise made me want to leave.

• 00:37

  So I leaned over to Tor and I asked him if he wanted to go.

• 00:41

  He saw my expression and lovingly asked, do you want to go?

• 00:46

  It was then I had a striking light bulb moment.

• 00:51

  I realized I have tried to care for others' feelings by indirectly projecting my own.

• 00:57

  I instantly started chuckling while taking a sip of my matcha latte and said,

• 01:02

  I would like to leave now, please.

• 01:04

  He smiled and looped his arm in mine, and we left.

• 01:09

  Expressing what you need can be extremely vulnerable.

• 01:13

  We may fear that others think we're selfish,

• 01:15

  or maybe we've been taught that what's important to us shouldn't be a priority.

• 01:20

  So today, let's talk about how to ask for what you need without the judgment.

• 01:27

  The first time I had to suppress my needs was when I was a child.

• 01:34

  I was really little.

• 01:37

  We were at a church function, getting ready to leave,

• 01:40

  and as we walked to our car, my parents saw a couple friends.

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