Think Again: Why relationships fall apart over dirty dishes — and how to avoid the trap

再想一想:为什么人际关系会因为脏盘子而破裂——以及如何避免陷入陷阱

Apple News In Conversation

2022-08-20

34 分钟
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This interview is part of a new series from Apple News In Conversation called Think Again — a guide to reimagining work, home, relationships, and more.  In this episode, In Conversation host Shumita Basu talks with Kate Mangino, a gender expert and the author of the book Equal Partners: Improving Gender Equality at Home. Mangino points to research that shows women still take on the majority of household responsibilities in different-sex relationships — and she argues there’s a better way for partners to balance the mental and physical labor of running a home. Mangino offers strategies to bring more equity and fairness into our partnerships. Below are excerpts from the interview.
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  • This is in conversation from Apple News.

  • I'm Shemita Basu.

  • Our Think Again series continues today.

  • How to have a more equal partnership.

  • A few years ago, Kate Mangino had a ton on her plate.

  • She was teaching multiple undergraduate classes while finishing her PhD.

  • She had two young kids, 2 and 5 years old.

  • Her husband was working a 9 to 5 job.

  • So Kate was taking on a lot of the parenting and household responsibilities.

  • I was the parent that got the phone call from daycare when someone was sick and had to come home early.

  • And I was overwhelmed and struggling.

  • Then one day, Kate's PhD advisor told her her deadline was getting moved up.

  • Instead of two months to hand in her dissertation, she now had one month.

  • And I went home that night and I sobbed.

  • I mean, I just.

  • I couldn't get myself together.

  • I cried and cried and cried.

  • The kids were in bed.

  • I remember sitting on my kitchen floor, which was filthy.

  • That was part of the problem because I thought, and on top of everything else, I have to clean my kitchen floor.