Do you hear that siren?
I'm recording in my studio in New York City and there's an active siren outside.
And actually, oddly enough, that really relates to the topic I want to talk to you about.
Shame.
OK, I know what you're thinking.
What?
Shame?
A siren?
Here's why this matters.
Shame in our kids has to activate a siren inside of ourselves.
We have to develop the ability to recognize when shame is present.
Because when we see shame, the truth is our whole intervention has to change.
At least it has to change
if we want to be effective and not get into a power struggle or an explosive argument with our kid.
And so the fact that this episode just began with a siren is kind of perfect.
When there's a siren, everything else changes.
If there's an ambulance on the street, we might have to go a different way.
We might not get the most direct route, but that siren takes precedence.
We respect it.
Shame is really powerful.