How to be Angry Better

如何更好地生气

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

2022-01-24

35 分钟
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Anger is a powerful signal that you or someone you value is in danger. But in our normal lives the sensations of rage we experience are false alarms - we aren't in real peril and we don't need to resort to extreme survival behaviors, such as violence. Therapist Faith Harper (author of U****k Your Anger) explains why our bodies evolved this anger response, and how we can ride out the initial wave of rage and reduce the negative effects of anger on us and our relationships. She also shows that anger has its place in pushing us to find constructive ways to challenge bad things in the world around us. WARNING: This episode contains some strong language. You can find Faith's books at the link below. https://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/artist/faith-g-harper Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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  • Pushkin.

  • Imagine that right now you're driving a car,

  • which if you actually are driving a car is probably an easy thing to conceptualize.

  • But imagine you're in your car and you're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

  • Your lane is ending soon, so you turn on your turn signal and try to merge.

  • But car after car pretends just not to see you.

  • And that's when the drivers behind you start honking their horns at you,

  • like it's somehow your fault that no one will let you in.

  • Now, I'd like to think that during a moment like this,

  • I'd think back to my years of training as a happiness expert,

  • that I'd embrace a bit of compassion for the other drivers, or just remember to take a deep breath.

  • But no, instead,

  • I usually undergo an immediate hulk-like transformation from a friendly everyday commuter into a full-on,

  • profanity-shouting, road rage mass hole.

  • My car may be at a standstill, but my emotions, and specifically my rage,

  • has gone from zero to 60 in what feels like less than a millisecond.

  • The science shows that bursts of anger like these don't really help us out in the long run.

  • Unlike a green superhero, our human fury can be much more under control than we think,

  • if we have the right strategies.

  • It's such an uncomfortable feeling, right?