Can Couples Learn to Argue Better?

夫妻可以学会更好地争论吗?

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

2024-02-19

34 分钟
PDF

单集简介 ...

No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us.  Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
更多

单集文稿 ...

  • Pushkin.

  • When we tape interviews for this show, a lot of small things can go wrong.

  • Planes fly overhead, trains rumble by, recording devices break,

  • but more often than not, the problem is usually somebody's phone going off.

  • This isn't the kind of exchange you might have expected from relationship experts John and Julie Schwartz Gottman.

  • You might have thought that Julie would just brush over John's mistake with some loving,

  • yet saccharine comment.

  • Oh honey, I simply adore your forgetfulness.

  • It fills our lives with so many surprises.

  • But the Gottmans are realists.

  • They don't like shying away from the disagreements,

  • disputes, and downright arguments that happen in every partnership.

  • And in their decades together as a married couple, they've had their fair share of conflicts.

  • Some of them were pretty fundamental.

  • This was like 30 years ago.

  • It has such a big fight there that we actually went to couple therapy.

  • That must be so intimidating for the poor couples therapist when the Gottmans walk in.

  • Throughout their careers, and now at the institute that bears their name,

  • the Gottmans have studied countless couples,

  • paying particular attention to the different ways they bring up complaints and solve conflicts.