You're listening to Song Exploder,
where musicians take apart their songs and piece by piece tell the story of how they were made.
I'm Rishikesh Hirway.
Janelle Monae is an award-winning musician and actress who released her first record in 2007.
She's been nominated for multiple Grammys,
and she starred in the Oscar films Moonlight and Hidden Figures.
In April 2018, she released her third album, Dirty Computer, which includes this song, So Afraid.
In this episode, Janelle Monae takes So Afraid apart to explain how she built it step by step,
beginning with a trip to the dentist.
This is Janelle Monae.
It was October 13, 2015.
I had a toothache, and I was on the way to the dentist.
I had just finished working on a song, and I was in a very introspective mood at the time,
asking myself questions around my fears, around my anxieties.
And what does it feel like to be afraid of many things, to be afraid of loving myself,
to be afraid of forgiving those who have hurt me, being afraid of falling in love, being vulnerable.
But I was dealing with a toothache and it was kicking my ass.
And so I had made an appointment.
And so I took Advil, got in my car and I'm riding on the highway.
And that is when I had the idea for So Afraid.