2024-08-23
15 分钟How do you know if you are a narcissist?
Like, does a narcissist know they are one?
Is there a narcissist test one can do?
There's about five to six tests out there that are designed to detect narcissism in its various ways.
All of them have flaws, like I said.
And it's not even fully the fault of the test, because this is a very difficult thing to measure.
We're trying to measure things that are not socially desirable.
Right.
That's really tough to measure.
So a lot of the narcissism tests will measure things like some entitlement, assertiveness, self importance that people may not find as offensive.
But the research actually shows that narcissistic people overestimate their empathy and underestimate their negative effect on other people.
They do not have a clear look at themselves.
They really have an almost deluded sense of who they are and how they go through the world.
So when a person says to me, I think I'm narcissistic, I always say, hold the presses.
You need to tell me a little bit about you, because there's a lot of people out there who think of themselves as narcissistic because they're in relationships with narcissistic people who have told them over the years, you are such a selfish person, because this unfortunate person is doing simple things like saying, hey, could we go where I want to go for dinner once?
Or may I want to talk about my feelings?
And then their narcissistic partner saying, oh, my gosh, you're so selfish.
And they're really sort of indoctrinated into this idea or gaslighted into this idea that there's something narcissistic about them?
Once we clear the decks of that, is there a subset of people out there who are narcissistic and are kind of in some awareness, like, this might be who I am?
Yes.