#755: Hugh Jackman and Esther Perel

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #444 "Hugh Jackman on Best Decisions, Daily Routines, The 85% Rule, Favorite Exercises, Mind Training, and Much More" and #241 "The Relationship Episode: Sex, Love, Polyamory, Marriage, and More (with Esther Perel)." Please enjoy! Sponsors: ExpressVPN high-speed, secure, and anonymous VPN service: https://www.expressvpn.com/tim (Get 3 extra months free with a 12-month plan) Momentous high-quality supplements: https://livemomentous.com/tim (code TIM for 20% off) Wealthfront high-yield cash account: https://Wealthfront.com/Tim (Start earning 5.00% APY on your short-term cash until you’re ready to invest. And when you open an account today, you can get an extra fifty-dollar bonus with a deposit of five hundred dollars or more.) Terms apply. Timestamps: [00:00] Start [05:46] Notes about this supercombo format. [06:49] Enter Hugh Jackman. [07:22] What books has Hugh gifted most? [10:35] Hugh's meditation practices. [14:07] Summoning and maintaining the emotional and physical energy necessary for performing. [19:59] What lessons did Hugh's father teach him about being an example to others? [25:32] The contract Hugh made with himself at the end of drama school. [29:13] Best decisions Hugh made in the first years of being an aspiring/working actor. [34:23] How has Hugh learned to trust his intuition? [37:07] The design of the day and the efficacy of manifestation. [39:38] The most efficient exercises Hugh knows. [40:53] The importance of incorporating relaxation into physical activity (the 85% rule). [44:17] Enter Esther Perel. [44:41] Esther's background. [46:11] Growing up among Holocaust survivors in Antwerp. [53:45] Her parents' survival: chance vs. choice. [1:02:27] Trust or vulnerability: which comes first? [1:04:24] Impermanence as motivation for living fully. [1:06:24] Esther on being counterphobic. [1:09:35] Studying in Jerusalem. [1:14:02] Seeking and approaching mentors. [1:22:39] Eroticism as an antidote to death. [1:26:04] Options for couples with sexual listlessness. [1:33:04] Too much honesty in relationships? American vs. European views. [1:39:07] Complete sharing vs. caring in relationships. [1:40:16] Guiding patients through infidelity disclosure. [1:45:29] Overcoming fear of abandonment in non-exclusive relationships. [1:52:23] Quarterly relationship report cards. [1:53:54] "Don't ask, don't tell" in polyamorous relationships. [1:55:46] Innovation and flexibility over rigid ideology in relationships. [1:58:43] Relationships as power dynamics. [2:02:20] The research process for Esther's book on adultery. [2:08:36] Arguments for marriage today. [2:13:47] Divorce rates in second marriages. [2:15:13] Marriage's effect on relationship behavior. [2:17:54] Human questions explored through infidelity in Esther's book. [2:21:48] Books Esther frequently gifts and rereads. [2:22:42] Esther's billboard. [2:23:15] Parting thoughts. * For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast. For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsors Sign up for Tim’s email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday. For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts. Discover Tim’s books: tim.blog/books. Follow Tim: Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss  Instagram: instagram.com/timferriss YouTube: youtube.com/timferriss Facebook: facebook.com/timferriss  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferriss Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie