Hello?
My voice is so raspy right now and I'm obsessed with it.
If it was up to me, my voice would be raspy all the time because I feel like when my voice is raspy, everybody likes me ten times more.
Everybody suddenly wants to hang out.
Everybody suddenly wants to have a two hour conversation with me.
It's like people like me in my normal state, but people love me when my voice is raspy.
And I don't know, I need to start like, screaming into my pillow for an hour every morning so that my voice is always raspy because I love it.
Anyway, the last two months for me have been filled with bad luck.
I have had the worst luck for the past two months.
It feels like the last two months have just been unfortunate event after unfortunate event after unfortunate event.
Like, it's just nonstop this month.
And I was sitting down trying to figure out what I was going to talk about today, and I was like, well, maybe I could share some of my recent unfortunate events.
And so I started writing a list, and the list of unfortunate events that have happened to me over the past two months is so long that I thought it would be a disservice to myself if I didn't make a whole episode about it, because there's just so much.
And it's not just like, little unfortunate events.
These are, like, bad.
Like, some of these things are really bad and like, they might never even happen to me again.
But for whatever reason, these things all happened within the same two month period.
And so today I'm going to be telling you all those stories.
The stories of my recent unfortunate events over the past two months.
Let's start with possibly the worst one.