I feel like the automatic response to a problem or a conflict is to blame everyone and everything other than ourselves.
It's so easy when shit goes wrong to be like, well, it's because they did this, or, well, it's because this happened.
It's not very automatic to run into a problem and immediately ask, hey, did this problem arise or did this conflict happen because I did something wrong too?
It's not an intuitive response to problems or conflicts.
I think this is because a lot of times we make decisions about how we handle certain situations with good intentions.
It's not very often that we purposely fuck up in some way.
You know, usually we're all just trying to do the right thing, but there are definitely times where we think we're doing the right thing, but we're not actually doing the right thing, whether we know it deep down or not.
For the last few years, I've been really working on asking myself if I'm the problem.
Hey, is there any chance that maybe I'm the problem?
And the reason why this conflict happened or the reason why this problem arose in my life is because I actually did something wrong.
I've been really working on this because it is not something that comes naturally.
What comes naturally is to start pointing fingers.
And to be honest, it's a lot more fun to point fingers.
Okay?
It's actually quite fun to just start pointing fingers and start blaming everything on everyone else and everything else.
It's easier.
It creates gossip, which can be fun at times.
It makes us feel like we're in the power position.
It kind of puts us into a place where we're the victim in a way which can be a much more comfortable place to be than, you know, being in the place of the one who fucked up.
But I truly believe that life gets better when we get into a habit of asking ourselves if we are the problem.