2024-05-23
39 分钟I think I have a birthday party mental block.
For the last probably ten years, I have refused to throw myself a birthday party.
And this year was no different.
I just turned 23 and I made the decision that once again, I was not going to throw myself a birthday party.
And it is kind of weird because I actually enjoy birthday parties.
I love going to other people's birthday parties.
Love, like, when it comes up on the calendar, I get excited.
Like when someone texts me and says, hey, next week I'm having a birthday party.
I'm elated.
Elated.
I love birthday parties.
I really do.
But my God, do I hate throwing one for myself.
When I look inward and reflect on why I never throw a birthday party for myself, I think it's because, number one, I fear that it would be an inconvenience in people's schedules, which makes no sense because I get excited when somebody's birthday party comes up in the calendar.
It's not a burden to me, but for some reason, I believe that if I were to throw a birthday party, it would be a burden to those who were invited.
They'd be like, oh, come on, another one.
I don't have time for this.
I have shit to do.
I don't want to go out tonight.
Fuck.