You're listening to Lifekit from NPR.
Hey there.
Andy Tegel here.
I'm a reporter and producer for Lifekit, and I'm also on my way to a brand new parent.
As of the recording of this episode, I am seven and a half months pregnant.
And friends, this process has been a lot.
Don't get me wrong.
My partner and I are thrilled we're over the moon to be starting our own little family.
But also, wow.
I truly did not know how many emotions I was capable of feeling all at once until I got pregnant.
The answer to date, I think, is somewhere around 27.
And I know, I know, emotionality comes with a territory, but the social, emotional and mental weight of this time is so much more than just those little flashes of great big feeling.
The internal shifts set off by pregnancy feel structural and endlessly bewildering.
One of the biggest myths in pregnancy is that it's going to be a happy, delightful, exciting time, and they're just going to be happy memories from pregnancy.
And what we know, of course, is that pregnancy is a vulnerable time.
The fact of this teeny, tiny, now cauliflower sized stranger growing inside of me has led to a ton of mental push and pull.
This sense of wanting to do the things that you know will help you to prepare for becoming a mother or a parent is sometimes conflicting with the sense of, I want to be able to go for a run, or I want to eat, like, all of the raw fish that I possibly can, or like all of the soft cheese.
And so there's this conflict between wanting to feel like I am still me, right?
Subsumed by this sense of maternal duty.
There are so many resources out there for the physical and logistical aspects of pregnancy, but there's far less out there on how to renegotiate your sense of self in every realm of your life.