When is it OK to lie?

什么时候可以撒谎?

Life Kit

2023-08-22

19 分钟
PDF

单集简介 ...

When are white lies harmless or hurtful? Experts weigh in on when it's appropriate to tell a lie, explain how lying can lead to more lying and share tips for cutting back if you want to break the habit. Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoices NPR Privacy Policy
更多

单集文稿 ...

  • You're listening to life kit from NPR.

  • When was the last time you told a lie?

  • What's that?

  • You never lie.

  • All right.

  • I'm willing to bet that at some point in your life, somebody's given you a gift that you did not like, but you pretended to love it, or their friend made a new recipe that came out tasting like a shoe, and you told them that it was delicious.

  • And look, these aren't big lies.

  • You're not committing fraud or hiding an affair.

  • Gail Heyman, a professor of psychology at the University of California, San Diego, says, sometimes our good intentions can be misguided.

  • You're trying to be helpful, but often these kind of lies that you're trying to do to help other people don't end up working.

  • And I think there's often better approaches to these kinds of things.

  • On the other hand, a white lie can have its place.

  • Gayle remembers this time she helped a friend shop for her wedding dress, and.

  • She was trying on different dresses, and she had a clear favorite that she knew she was gonna pick.

  • And she wanted me to say that I liked the same one.

  • I actually did not like the same one, but in that case, I lied and said that I liked the same one.

  • And I knew that what she wanted was validation so that she has trouble making decisions.

  • Now, if there was, like, a real problem with the dress that she picked, I would have told her the truth, even though she might not have been happy with me.

  • So, yeah, lying is complicated, and maybe even more so if you have kids in your life.

  • We adults like to talk a big game.