You're listening to lifekit from NPR.
I'm Liliana Maria Percy Ruiz.
Infomerial Saguera.
When I was in my early twenties, I was exhausted all the time.
Yes, a lot of that was due to the hustle of being post college and living in New York City trying to make ends meet.
But looking back, what was making me so tired was actually how much I was doing and caring for everyone else.
During this time, I was juggling multiple jobs and barely had time to myself.
And yet, if I saw that my family, friends or coworkers needed something, and to be clear, they didn't even have to ask me, I would offer to do it for them regardless of how it affected me.
I didn't know how to set boundaries and was more concerned with pleasing the people around me than caring for myself.
This is all something that Yasin Bajan, co founder of Homegirls Unite, is very familiar with.
Her UK based group supports women from marginalized communities, particularly eldest daughters, who Yasin believes often bear the burden of being the go to problem fixers in their immigrant families.
In this episode of Life, Kit reporter TK dutes talks with Yasen about how to create boundaries that can help you navigate the desire to please and fix other peoples problems.
I'm a big sister, you're a big sister.
And we're socialized to be fixers.
And like, the ultimate helpers.
What does being a fixer look like?
I know personally my fixer status is deriving from wanting to do everything for everyone.
Like, you can even see problems that the person you're trying to fix, it's not even aware of.
And you're like, aha.
So I'm going to do this for this person and they're going to be happy because it will make their life easier.